the Excluesif: Volume 1 - Best Male Athlete EVER!

Stupidy seems to seep up from all crevices across the United States....i choose not to finish that sentence because i think i have already proved my notion that in America, when someone does something good...we jump the gun on them and are prepared to anoint them alot of things...case in point...GWB post 9/11 (don't worry, he will be fodder for many more rants). Today its going to be in the world of sports. Tiger Woods has just won the PGA championship scoring back to back majors (British Open) yet again. He took over on the second day of the event and closed it out flawlessly to clinch his 12th shield of his career with champagne, friends, family, and one very happy swedish meatball. As i lag into work this morning i do the first thing any gent of my age does...i go to yahoo sports and espn.com. Obviously he was going to be talk of the sports world, but i saw a very frustrating article titled "TIGER WOODS, BEST MALE ATHLETE EVER?" I was infuriated enough with this article that i chose to feed my ignorance and not read it, because i believe this question should not even be posed. Quickly, here is a definition of an athlete: A person possessing the natural or acquired traits, such as strength, agility, and endurance, that are necessary for physical exercise or sports, especially those performed in competitive contexts.

Tiger woods possesses the natural traits necessary to be good at golf, and he works diligently on his swing and his game, but an athlete...that is quite a stretch. He is in fine shape for a normal person without question, but an athlete..by definition....is someone that has certain traits, mainly strength, agility, and endurance that are necessary for physical excercise. What does tiger do...he hits a ball (which props to the son of a gun, i can't consistently do) and hands his club to his caddy who does the atheltic side of things in carrying the bag for 18 holes a day. "WAAAH, but Anandimus he really hits those hard puts and lays up nicely when in the rough!" shutup! the caddy also assists him in making those decisions, they barter about how to hit it without any real time constraint. A great golfer he is, but to be a great athlete, let alone the greatest of athletes in sports, they almost should be second to none...which..btw...he is second to the golden bear, Jack Nicklaus. Not to say that he has to have the most majors to be considered the greatest athlete ever...but i am not even sure currently he is the greatest golfer ever. It wasn't like michael jordan couldnt have hung around and been a 10 min mike and get to kareem's record, or that Pete Sampras stumbled upon 14 grand slams, or even Kristie friggin Yamagucchi ( i think zucchini when i spell her name ) couldnt have continued to amass world championships for skating...but all those players were dominant and have done something that no one else in there sports have done...has Tiger..the answer is simply no. To be like Mike you would have to win the most MVP trophies of anyone in the history of the NBA, to also win that award and the defensive player of the year award in the same year. To be the pistol, you would have to be number one in your sport for 6 straight years without letting ANYTHING get in your way going on to win the most majors of any tennis player on earth, also keeping up with nearly 2.5 generations of players and adapting rigerous training regiments and only 5 weeks off per year...mike would have had more...but we all know the competitor that he is and the work in the offseason he put in. Both those guys play golf now for relaxation, to kick back and enjoy a beer or hang out with buddies...because that is ultimately what Golf is to America.....its not athletic competetion as much as bowling is.....the only thing is there ain't nobody in the PBA can pull a girl like TIger's wife.

My point is that golf is great, and so is Tiger Woods, but unless Golf can really emulate 6 straight tour de frances, 14 grand slam tennis champinships....or even stick a triple axel...then calling any golfer the greatest athlete of all time.....well, i had to say it....its just plain stupid.